


No One Gets Over What You've Been Through In Only Twenty Three Minutes

by This_ape_writes



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 19:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9139351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/This_ape_writes/pseuds/This_ape_writes
Summary: This is sort of a sequel to "Letting Him Panic, Even For Just A Few Seconds , Is A Few Seconds Too Long, Alright?". Bones has been captured and tortured for three very long and awful weeks and now that he's back he needs time to get his barrings and know for sure that he's okay. And that's turning out to be harder that Jim thought.





	

The first indication that Bones is waking up is an intake of breath that is out of its usual pattern. 

It's a little longer. 

A little out of sync. 

And Jim is awake the second that it happens. 

It takes him a blink or two to come out of the dream he had been having but he launches himself to his feet without even thinking about it, the second he's aware of his surroundings again. 

He also realizes very quickly he has no idea what to do. 

As he stands there in the silent room he thinks for a second he's imagined it, when Bones' eyes remain closed and he doesn't move at all. But Jim's not ready to let it go that easily and he reaches up to rest his palm against Bones' shoulder as light as he can manage. 

But he doesn't want to scare Bones at all, that could make this whole thing so much worse, so he picks his hand back up the second it has touched him and he looks around wondering what the hell to do now? 

Does he try and wake him up? 

Should he scoot back a little bit in case Bones panics? 

Should he call someone? 

Turn on a light? 

Should he touch him again? 

Should he not?

Good lord why were there so many ways to screw this up!? 

But he doesn't get the chance to think possible scenarios through any longer. 

There's no mistaking the sudden intake of breath that Bones gives this time around and when Jim looks down at the bed beneath him he sees Bones eyes pull open in a look of panic and he scrambles away frantically as he tries his best to draw himself as far away and into the corner as he can. 

Shit. 

So much for not causing him to freak out. 

He has to fix this. 

And fast. 

"Bones it's okay it's me. You're home," he says in a quiet voice he's used on more than one occasion with scared strangers in dangerous situations. It's his 'I'm in charge and I won't hurt you' tone. He really hopes it works as well now as it has for him in the past. 

But so far it hasn't done anything to help as Bones remains huddled in the corner. 

It's dark in the room. 

Really dark. 

The only lights are from the blue read out screen at the head of the biobed. Normally that wouldn't be enough to allow Jim to visually assess the situation here, but in Bones' panic he has scrambled in a huddled ball with his back pressed right up against that read out screen. 

The soft glowing light that it casts, illuminates every inch of his face. 

And Jim is able to see every twitch and tremor of terror that he has. 

It also means he has to watch in horror as Bones's face completely crumbles and he shakes his head back and forth and loses all control. 

Ok so his commanding voice hasn't worked at all then. 

Shit. 

He feels completely helpless as Bones sobs and starts to mutter. 

"No...no, no, not Jimmy. Please. I was so careful. I was so careful..." 

What now, Jim thinks.

What now?

His hands are still hovering in the air reaching out toward Bones but he's afraid to move any closer towards him. He has no idea what Bones thinks is actually going on, but nothing about his reactions or posture here gives off the impression of a man who believes he is safe. 

 

He needs a few moments to think this through. 

So of course he doesn't get that. 

And he thinks that if it weren't for bad luck...

 

The door behind him slides open and he hears footsteps as a new rush of light floods in over his shoulder. The footsteps stop and he doesn't turn his eyes from Bones who is now in an even more defensive posture with his arms cradled over his head. So he takes a wild guess at who has entered the room. 

"Chris?" he asks without taking his eyes of Bones or moving even the slightest. And he sighs in relief when Christine answers him. 

"Captain is he alright?" 

He nods, which is a complete lie so he amends it with words. 

"No. No, not really. But I got this. Give us a few minutes?" 

"Captain I really don't..."

"It's alright. He's not hurt. His vitals are still ok. He just doesn't know where he is yet just...just please..." Jim says. Her hesitation makes him think she'll override his plea but she doesn't. 

"Alright. Call me when..."

"Absolutely. Thank you," Jim interrupts. 

"Yes Captain." The door slides shut leaving them in the dark again and Jim can hear that Bones is still muttering to himself from behind his arms. 

"I didn't eat anything. I didn't. It must...shit it must be in the air now. Please. Leave me alone. Not Jimmy. I can't. I can't...". 

"Bones?" Jim says and the resulting howl of pain almost is enough to knock his knees out from under him as Bones begins to shake. 

"How...how did you learn that name? How?" 

"Bones. Please. Can you. Can you look at me?" 

But Bones shakes his head and keeps his eyes crushed shut. 

"You're not real. God I want you to be but you're not real. How did you know? How did you know!" he yells, but it breaks and strangles off into another sob as Bones wraps his arms around his knees and lowers his head to rest on top of them. "Please. Not Jimmy. It's too much. It's too..." and he breaks off with another sob as he shakes his head. 

And all of the panic that Jim has been feeling about this entire ordeal from the second Bones was taken three weeks ago, all comes roaring back and he has to sit down before he collapses. He drops to he very edge of the chair next to the bed and has to admit he's way out of his depth here. 

Bones is acting like he's hallucinating this which would make sense knowing how prisoners on the planet were treated. Also knowing that a hallucinogenic substance had been found in Bones's system in extremely high levels when they first ran a tox screen when he was first brought back on board. 

That had all passed out of his system by now but it made this whole situation make a lot more sense to him. 

The fact that he was calling him Jimmy though, sent chills through his whole body. 

First of all he was the only person that Jim ever allowed to used that nickname. Anyone else who tried would rapidly be corrected. 

But second of all, Bones only ever used that nickname whenever he was absolutely scared shitless. Usually when something had gone horribly wrong and Jim found himself on the other end of this kind of scenario, as the patient himself. 

The fact that Bones is using it now lets him know just how terrified he is. 

He has to fix this.

He pulls himself back to his feet with slow movements and glances at the side of the biobed before punching in the code to shut off any possible alarms. 

Loud blaring noises is the last thing this situation needs. 

Bones hasn't moved at all from his huddled position so Jim climbs slowly onto the bed itself and settles in cross legged at the end of it, allowing Bones to still have plenty of space. 

And if stubborn single mindedness has gotten him this far in life it might work here as well. 

Bones is going to know he's okay now. 

That's just how it's going to be. 

"Hey," Jim says. "Bones can you please look at me? Please. I swear I'm not a hallucination I just need you to look at me. Look where we are. Really look at everything. We're in your medbay. See?" He says quietly but still in complete control. 

For several seconds he thinks Bones is refusing to respond to him but he slowly lifts his head and squints around them and then he looks right at Jim and he shakes his head and loses it again, but manages to keep eye contact as he cries. 

"You're not real. None of this is." 

"I am. I am real. I promise. Here touch me, see? I'm really here," he says holding out his arm, but Bones hisses in a gasp and curls away from him and shakes his head violently. 

"No. I can touch the other ones too. That doesn't prove anything. And I can't..." he squeezes his eyes shut painfully and shakes his head. 

"Ok. Ok. Alright. That's fine. How do I prove I'm real then?" he asks. But Bones shakes his head. 

"You're not," he says in a flat angry voice. 

"I am. I swear to you. Ok the other hallucinations. How did you know they weren't real? What gave them away?" 

"No!" Bones howls again. "You're using that to learn. You're just making them better so they can hurt me more. Stop please not Jimmy...". 

"Ok but Bones I swear I'm real and the sooner you see that the sooner you'll be ok," he says. "Have I ever lied to you?" 

Bones freezes. And then shakes his head. 

"Ok. So please. How do I prove I'm real? What makes the other ones false?" 

Bones opens his mouth. And then closes it. And then completely gives up as he lets out a shaking sob and drops his head to his knees. 

"The details. They...they never get all of the details..." he whispers. 

"Ok," Jim says, his heart kicking a tiny slip of hope at that admission. Details. Ok. He's got details. Six whole years of them. He's got details coming out of his ass. "Ok. Details. Got it. Alright. You asked how I knew your nickname. Let's start there. I know that nickname because I gave it to you. We were sitting side by side on the shuttle in Riverside. You had on that fantastic leather jacket you used to have. You said your bones were all you had left. As soon as we landed I called you Bones and you called me an idiot and I haven't stopped calling you that since. You remember that right?" 

Bones hasn't moved. He's still frozen in a ball. He hesitates a moment and then shakes his head.

"Other....other people could know that. They could know that story," he says and his voice sounds so rough and lost it's all Jim can do to keep from hugging him. 

But he stays put. 

Barely. 

"Ok. That's ok. I'll keep going. How about the first time you patched me up? Huh? I was sparring with that guy that was way out of my weight class and he hadn't meant to hurt me but he dislocated my shoulder. They dragged me into the clinic and you were on duty and I remember being so glad it was you. Even if you did refuse to give me any pain killers under the fake pretense that I was allergic to them. I think you just wanted me to feel pain so I wouldn't be stupid like that again." 

"You ARE allergic to them," Bones whispers and Jim's face lights up. 

"Oh bull shit. You give me pain killers now all the time." 

Bones opens his mouth to argue but closes his eyes and shakes his head with a slight frown. 

Ok. So he's not quite there. But this is hopeful. So Jim keeps going. 

 

"Our first dorm room. It had a faulty replicator in it that groaned all night long and a window that was such a weird shape we had a hell of a time finding something that could cover it. It wasn't even supposed to be a double room. It had a second bed tucked back in that left corner nook technically, but it had no mattress to go with it. I hacked the system to make us roommates and then slept on a hard bed frame without a mattress for three days until I could con one out of the other dorms." He watches Bones closely but he doesn't move at all. In fact he's gone completely still. The only movement he has is shallow short breaths as he remains huddled against his knees. But he's not stopping Jim so he keeps going. 

"We only had the one desk too off to the corner at the end of your bed. And the damn drawer at the front never stayed together it stuck and fell apart when we tried to use it remember that? We had to keep everything on the top of the desk. I lost so many styluses that year. They were probably all under your bed but I never put in the effort to look. I just bought more. And I don't even know how many nights we both fell asleep against that desk studying, either. We almost slept there more than our actual beds. But we worked well together, me and you. I don't think I would have lasted at all if it hadn't been for you helping me through that semester." 

He tries to gauge Bones' reaction but gets nothing. So he keeps talking. 

"That's when I knew you didn't hate me. You knew I had hacked into the system. And you knew I wasn't supposed to be there but you never said anything. You didn't kick me out. You just rolled your eyes and said if I got caught you weren't taking any of the blame." Jim smiles at that memory and he takes a chance at ruining the slight calm that's been created by shifting a tiny bit further into the center of the bed. 

He notices that Bones' breathing picks up a tiny bit when he moves closer but he doesn't tell him to stop. So Jim settles in, now within arms reach, and keeps going. 

"Of course it took two whole years before you decided you didn't just not hate me but you kinda liked me too. I knew right away I liked you of course." 

Bones huffs out a breath at that and that makes Jim's heart picks up at the sound. It's almost a laugh. Maybe. And he grins. 

"The first time you kissed me was in the shuttle museum at the front of the campus. I'd talked a first year cadet into letting me in there so I could have some peace and quiet during finals and you hacked my comm to track me down. You were pissed at me for making you worry and I was trying to distract you by pointing out how well made the replicas inside the museum were. 

I had noticed that the inside of the flight door on one of the shuttles had been scraped away around the door handle like the damn door had been opened over and over and over again even though the whole thing was completely fake and I was so in awe at that amount of detail that had gone into something probably no one else ever even took the time to see. I was standing there amazed at the person who cared that much about their job and I asked you if you thought I could do my job that well even if I knew I would get zero recognition for it and when I turned to look at you, you kissed me."

When he glances at Bones again he realizes he's being stared at from behind his arms and Jim smiles at him. 

"No one had ever initiated kissing me before that. I'd always been the one to start things. It kinda floored me. But god it was amazing." 

"How long...how long have I been gone..." Bones asks. And the switch of topic throws Jim for a second. 

"Twenty four days," Jim says. "And I haven't slept much through any of them." 

"You haven't showered either," Bones mutters. And Jim sends him a blinding wide smile. 

"I've showered! Just not in the last three days since you've been back. I...couldn't chance you waking up and me not being here." 

Bones stares at him for a few seconds and nods. 

"I wanna trust you," Bones says in that same pained whisper he's had a few minutes ago and it breaks Jim's heart just hearing that awful sound. 

"I want you to, too..." he says. "What else do you need from me?" 

Bones frown is back and he shakes his head. So Jim stays put and shuts up and lets him think. But his heart rate soars through the roof when Bones unwinds his hand from his own grip and reaches out to rest it against Jim's foot. 

"When...when did I first agree to go into space with you?" Bones asks. He glances up to make eye contact with Jim. Jim takes in the challenging look that's being leveled his way and nods. 

"You'd lost a patient," Jim says and Bones' face stays neutral not giving away if he's right or not but Jim knows he absolutely is. So he keeps going. "It was at the clinic and the kid wasn't even technically yours. He had an allergic reaction and it made you think of me. You came home and you hugged me and you told me you didn't trust me to be taken care of by anyone but you...so you were coming with me. Even if that meant going into space." A quick intake of breath is all that Bones gives as a way of an answer and tears slip down his face as his grip on Jim's foot gets tighter. 

"Yeah," Bones says. "That's right." 

"I know," Jim says. "I know it's right because we were both there. I'm real Bones. I'm not a hallucination. I swear I'm not." Bones continues to nod at him and cry and that's it. Jim's risking this entire situation going completely to hell as he pushes up on his knees and crawls a few inches closer so he can wrap Bones up in a hug. 

Bones goes completely stiff under Jim's touch but collapses in shakes when Jim doesn't pull away and as Jim settles back against the wall behind the bed he hugs Bones against him and Bones let's go. 

"It's alright. You're safe now. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry it took us so long to find you. We were trying. God we all were. I can't even imagine what you went through." 

"I'm okay..." Bones croaks out in a rough voice. But the inflection says it's still a question. So Jim kisses the top of his head and hugs him tighter. 

"You are," he says. "You're okay. You're okay." 

"Hallucinations never...never hugged me before...". 

 

"Good. Because that's my job," Jim says with a grin. 

"Were...were my injuries that bad?" Bones asks and Jim rubs his arm as he hugs him tighter and shakes his head. 

"No. Minor burns and a few bruises some..." but the adjectives he needs to use, his heart won't let him say it. Signs of torture. Being beaten. Whipped. 

So he shakes his head. 

"A few broken ribs but they healed ok on their own. Your wrist was the worst. It had been broken and it had started to heal wrong. But they were able to fix it. Mostly you were dehydrated and a little malnourished. And you had a hell of a lot of hallucinogens in your blood stream but I'm guessing you already knew that." 

"It was in the food. That's why I stopped eating..." Bones says. 

"Did they tell you what they wanted?" Jim asks. And Bones nods. 

"Your weaknesses. Details on the ship. Anything they could use to hurt us. They wanted that as leverage. They didn't think I was leverage enough. I really thought...I thought they'd give up and just kill me." 

"You're okay. And I'm never letting you do anything alone like that again." 

"They wanted a doctor. And at first I really was helping them it just..." Bones shakes his head. "Do I have to stay here?" he asks. And Jim sighs as he hugs him tighter. 

"I don't know. But we can find out. Can I ask Christine to come in here? Is that okay?" Jim asks. The grip on Jim's arm squeezes tighter but Bones nods. 

Jim doesn't let go completely, but just enough so that he can reach up to hit the call button behind his head. 

"Yes?" Christine answers immediately. 

"You can come in now. We want to know if he can go home." 

Christine huffs a laugh into the mic. 

"I swear the two of you never stay put anywhere. I'm coming in. Hang on." Jim releases the button and shifts so that he's sitting up more, but he's unwilling to let go of Bones just yet. The door slides open and lights kick on in the room and Bones winces but doesn't move. Christine waits just inside the door and Jim looks over at her and nods. 

"It's okay. He's alright. Just move slow," he says. 

"No. Don't be stupid. I'm fine. Just. Do what you gotta do," Bones says as he pushes himself up away from Jim and sits in the middle of the bed. "Hi Chris," he mutters as Christine walks closer. 

"Len. You scared the hell out of us," she says. 

"Yeah well. It wasn't by choice," he mutters and Christine grins. "Jim?" Bones says as he glances up at where Jim is still sitting against the bed. "Can you please go shower? You smell awful." And Jim laughs at that as he starts to climb down off the bed. 

"Alright. Fine," he reaches over and touches his hand before he stands up and looks at Bones seriously. "You sure?" he asks. And the fact that Bones hesitates is almost enough to make him refuse but Bones nods. 

"I can make it while you shower. Just don't...don't take too long?" He asks. And Jim nods. 

He doesn't even go to his own room. He grabs a pair of scrubs out of the closet in Bones's office and jumps in the medbay shower that's just a few steps away. 

He has to admit it does feel nice to be clean again but he doesn't take any extra time to get that way. 

Soap.

Shampoo.

Rinse.

Done. 

He's toweled off and changed and back in the room before Christine has even finished her exam. He's running a towel over his dripping hair and he doesn't ask if he can, he just climbs back up on the bed and sits as close to Bones as possible. Christine clicks off the device in her hand and she sighs as she looks at the readout. 

"Well you're still going to have to be monitored for your eating. And you'll be on a very strict diet for a few days until we can get your body back to normal. But physically I think I can clear you to leave IF," she says. "You promise to come back in no more than twelve hours for another check in. If you don't I'll hunt you both down and then you'll have to stay here. Got it?" 

"Of course," Jim says. And Bones nods. Bones also reaches out to grab Christine's hand and he squeezes. 

"Thank you," he says. And she squeezes back. 

"We're all so glad you're ok," she says. Bones nods. She leaves the room and Jim jumps down off the bed so he can walk around and help Bones get to his feet. 

"I'm not helpless," Bones grumbles but he takes the hand offers and crawls down to the floor as Jim puts his arm around him. 

"No you aren't but I'm gonna feel the need to mother hen for a few days so let me," Jim grumbles back. Bones chuckles at that and the sound makes Jim's heart soar. 

They make their way to their room in silence when the lift opens up on their floor. He knows it feels like Bones is ok now but he also knows that's a damn lie. Jim notices that Bones can't help but flinch at every tiny noise. Even the soft beep that the lock emits from their door and he rubs his shoulder in sympathy as they both walk inside. 

 

The door closes behind them and Bones starts to head for the bed but Jim holds on to his arm to keep him from moving forward and waits for him to turn to look at him instead. 

"Ok. I know you were pretending to be just fine in there so Christine would let you go. I get that, I understand. But if anyone knows exactly what it's like to go through what you just have it's me ok? And I don't care how super human you think you are Bones, no one gets over that shit in only twenty three minutes," Jim says. And Bones chuckles at that. 

"Especially not when just fifteen minutes ago you didn't know if I was real or not," Jim adds and Bones' face goes somber. "Come here," Jim says. 

He leads him across the room and they both sit down on the bed and Jim makes sure Bones is really looking at him before he continues his thought. 

"Now I'm going to ask you to do something that's going to be really hard for you. But I'm going to insist on it or I'll send you back to medbay. Alright?" Jim asks. Bones looks a little wary but slowly nods. And Jim can't help but nod right back. "Alright. I'm going to need you to take from me anything you need to help you feel better. Any tiny thing that flits into your mind you're gonna ask for it and I'm gonna get it. Okay?" 

Bones raises one of his eyebrows and a tiny smile tilts at his lips. 

"Anything?" he asks. And Jim nods. 

"Anything. You want an ice cream sundae at two am you go it. Well...not yet you'd throw it back up if you tried it right now but you know what I mean." And Bones chuckles again. "But you need a hug any time during anything it's yours. You need to talk I'm here. You need to get out of this room we're gone. You need leave time we'll take it. You can completely abuse that power. I will do anything you say. But you have to promise you won't filter. If you think it you ask for it. Can you do that for me?" Jim asks. Bones hesitates but nods. 

"I'll try Jim," he says. 

"You'll do it," Jim amends for him and Bones rolls his eyes. 

"Fine Yoda. I'll do it," he grumbles. "But you realize that means I can use that to make you get all those check ups you try and weasel your way out of, and to make you eat better, and to stop going on needless away missions right?" Bones says. 

"Yes I do," Jim says. "And I'll do it all. Whatever you need. I promise." 

"Is there an expiration date on that?" Bones asks and Jim just shakes his head, but then hesitates just slightly. 

"Probably," Jim amends as he really thinks it over. "But not for a long, long time. Ok?" And Bones nods. 

"Thank you," he says as he squeezes Jim's hand. 

"So what do you need first," Jim asks. "Don't think just say." 

"Sleep. I'm still exhausted. And I need you...to...hold me if that's okay?" he asks. And he shakes his head. "God this is a harder promise to keep than I thought it would be," he laughs as he rubs his hand over his face and tries not to blush behind it. 

"Stop," Jim says in a serious voice. "I'll do anything. Lie down." Bones nods. 

He scoots back into the bed and waits for Jim to wrap himself around him. 

Jim commands the lights off and Bones winces again. 

"Just a tiny bit of light...if...?" but Jim hushes him and commands the lights at five percent and Bones relaxes as Jim kisses his forehead. 

"What else," Jim murmurs and Bones takes a deep breath so he can sigh.

"Talk to me until I fall asleep," he says. But it's not a question this time. It's a fervent request and Jim nods. 

"Absolutely Bones. You got it," he says. "How about I tell you about the first time I had an inappropriate fantasy about you..." Jim says. 

And Bones rolls his eyes and laughs but relaxes and closes his eyes as Jim completely surrounds him.

**Author's Note:**

> This can be read by itself or as a sequel to "Letting Him Panic, Even For Just A Few Seconds , Is A Few Seconds Too Long, Alright?" I just couldn't leave Bones all unconscious. I had to wake him up.


End file.
